Lisa Riesert: Guide and Owner's Manual
by Erestory
Summary: Wondering why there are pens everywhere? Keep falling over hidden hockey sticks? Sick of all the Dr. Phil books? Read the manual


Congratulations!

You are now the owner of a fully automated **Lisa **unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your brave manager, please pay close attention to the following instructions.

**Basic Information:**

**Name: Lisa Henrietta Riesert**

**Date Of Manufacture: **Year of 1980

**Place Of Manufacture: **Miami, Florida

**Height: **Around 5'7"

**Weight: **Unknown

**Race: **Human

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**Your _Lisa _unit will come with the following accessories**

Three skirts

Two blouses

2 High heels shoes

1 Frankenstein Pen

1 Hockey stick

When you first open your **Lisa **unit, she may be quiet and uptight. Give her time and she shall ease up to you.

**Cleaning: **The **Lisa **unit is fully capable of cleaning herself and will also keep the house clean for you.

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**Programming:**

Your **Lisa** unit is smart and clever, and can carry out the following functions:

**Manager: **Whether it's running a hotel to planning a party for her relatives visiting the city **Lisa** will take control and make sure everything come out fine.

**Drinking buddy: **As she is normally 25 year old **Lisa **doesn't mind having a drink every now and then. She will also look out for her fellow drinking co-workers.

**Friend: Sh**e's smart, brave and loyal. She will always be there to listen to your problems, lend you a helping hand, talk for hours, go shopping and go to the bar with you.

**Survivor teacher: Lisa** is a survivor to rape to knife welding men. If you are going through a tragic event or need some lessons in protecting in case something pops off just call her and she well have you fit and ready to rumble in no time.

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**Your _Lisa_ unit comes with five different modes:**

Manager

Friendly

Restless

Fighter

Victim

The **friendly** mode is activated whenever **Lisa** is with other units in a relaxed setting. She will laugh at jokes, lightly tease people, drink (sometimes) and smile.

**Fighter** is activated when **goons with guns endanger Lisa** or chased by **Jackson **units. She will hit people with cars, vases, and hockey sticks. She may also shoot people.

The **Restless** mode is activated when **Lisa **nightmares about "that" day or just having a bad day. She will wake up at 3:00am and have scrambled eggs.

**Manager: **Lisa is a hotel manager and has the knowledge to run anything that is needed.

The **Victim** mode is activated when **Lisa **thinks about what happen that day, is being held captive by a** Jackson** unit, or feels trapped. She will comply (temporarily), cry, plead or try to escape.

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_**Reaction to other units:**_

**Jackson Rippner**: This unit is **Lisa's **friend/captive/rival. They have a tense and strange relationship. Best not to leave them for along.

**Cynthia Mayas**: This unit is the **Lisa** units best friend and co-worker.

**Charlie Keefe**: This unit is a frequent visitor to **Lisa**'s hotel. They get on fine.

**Joe Reisert**: He is **Lisa**'s father and her rock and they will do anything for each other.

* * *

**Frequently** **Asked Questions**

**Q: **My **Lisa **keeps popping up with books? Where is she getting them?

**A: **A dad unit. Just get use to it.

**Q: **My **Lisa **has just tried to kill my friends **Jackson **unit. Why do I do?

**A: **You can reset her and have your friend reset her Jackson. Its a short fix.

**Q: **After a little fiasco **Lisa **and **Jackson **couldn't stop trying to kill each other! I left one time and now there are quiet and watching each other. They even went out to the movies and came back really late.

**A: Lisa **and** Jackson** must have _resolved _their difference. It would better to leave things the way they are. *wink*

**Q: **My Lisa has arrived with blonde hair, a pants suit, and a mountain of cases for work. I wasn't expecting this! What happened to her?

**A: **You must have accidentally been sent a** Jennifer "JJ" Jareau** by accident. Return her to the box, and we will pick her up and deliver you your **Lisa.**

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**Warranty: **With proper care, the **Lisa **unit will grow old and eventually die, unless an accident or old age kills her. However, if you get annoyed with the fighting manager, you can always send him back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).


End file.
